Golden Days
by xMiyumiChanx
Summary: Sonic, Tails, Knuckles, Amy, and Big get stuck in the Pikmin world -yay!- and strangle themselves to death trying to find out how the hell they're suppose to- KNUCKLES DON'T HANG YOURSELF! DISCONTINUED. Sorry. :(
1. Walking Plants?

A/N: I DO NOT OWN ANYTHING EXCEPT FOR THIS STORY.

"Oh, god. My head," Knuckles mumbles as he rubs his dreadlocks. "Where are we? What the? THE TREE IS FUCKING HUGE!"

"Shut up! Geez, you're making my headache worse," Sonic replies. "Tails, you better remember what happened, or I'll kill you." He turns ever so slowly as to not crack his stiff neck.

"Well, I do remember, but you guys are gonna kill me anyway after I tell you…."

*FLASHBACK*

Sonic: Hey, Tails. Whatcha been buildin'?

Tails: I have no idea. I was so bored and had nothing better to do since we beat Eggman (again), so I made the first thing that came to my mind.

Knuckles: Exactly WHY did you need me here to build it?

Tails: I didn't want to be alone….

Knuckles: You son of a-

Amy: SONNNNIIIICCCC!

Sonic: Woah! Amy, get off me!

Amy: But didn't you miss me? I spent 9 hours trying to track you down and I finally found you….

Sonic: What?

*Suddenly the north wall caved in, revealing Big, frantically waving his arms*

Big: FROGGY? WHERE ARE YOUUUUU?

Sonic: …... Anyways, Tails, I was wondering why you made a big red button like in the movies. What does it do? Something totally drastic and devastating? *chuckle*

Amy: Soniiiiiiic. Don't ignore me! *huff*

Tails: Well, you'd be surprised. But unfortunately, I don't know. That's why I don't want anyone to touch- KNUCKLES WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

*click*

Knuckles: Let's see what this damn baby can do!

Big: FROGGY! COME BACK, FROGGY! I'M WORRIED ABOUT YOU!

Amy: You guys are so mean! Ignoring a woman like that!

Sonic: Someone please help- whooooa! AAAAAAAAAH!

*End of flashback*

"…. I'M GONNA FUCKING KILL YOU TAILS!" Knuckles swings his arm back, ready for a punch.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa! Wait, Knux! Have you already forgotten YOU were the one who pressed the god damn button?" Sonic interrupts.

"I DON'T CARE! HE'S THE REASON WE'RE STUCK IN THIS MESS, AND HE'S GONNA FIX IT!"

"Hey, what are those?" Tails points, glad to make a gesture to dispute the argument.

"What the…. They look like walking plants!"

"THOSE PLANTS ARE GONNA DIE!"

"Jesus Christ! Knuckles, don't move!" Sonic grabs his arms, keeping him in place.

Tails replies, "Ummmmm guys? They're coming towards us. I think we better run..."

"Pik! Pik! Piiiiiiik. MIN!"

"AAAAAAAAAAH!"

A/N: Well, that's the end of my first chapter of my first story! I hope you liked it! Oh, and just so you know, purple and white pikmin will have their own onions, since there's no ship to keep them in. :P SUGGESTIONS FOR NAMES OF TREASURE IS WELCOME! YOU WILL GET CREDIT IF YOUR TREASURE NAME IS SELECTED! THEY NEED TO BE METAL PARTS, THOUGH, CAUSE TAILS WILL BE SEARCHING FOR TREASURE TO USE FOR BUILDING A MACHINE! If there is anything you think I could improve on, please speak up! AND NO FLAMES. Thank you! R&R please!

~Miyumi (No, it's not my real name, so don't ask XD)


	2. Delirious in less than 1 minute

A/N: I DO NOT OWN ANYTHING EXCEPT FOR THIS STORY.

"Get 'em off me!" Sonic yells, poking the blue plants carrying him.

"What the hell are these? They have faces!" Knuckles says.

"Well, it's obvious that they are perfectly harmless," Tails responds. "They were kind enough to take me to their, uh, 'ship'. They're just curious."

"Well, then. Hey, you guys, I can walk on my own, so no need to worry- OH MY FUCKING GOD! LET ME GO! LET ME GO! HOLY MOTHER OF JESUS! PUT ME DOWN!" Sonic struggles with flailing arms to touch the ground as the blue-colored plants take him to their ship….. in the water.

"HAHAHAHAHAHA!" Knuckles doubles over, laughing, while pointing in Sonic's direction. "He just got fucked!"

Tails sighs in frustration as he watches his partner being carried through water to a blue ship. "I'll go get a leaf or two to dry him off. People these days..."

"You go do that. I'll just follow these red imbeciles to their ship so they'll stop bothering me… What's this?" Knuckles questions as he takes a damaged notebook from one of the red plants. "O-li-mar's notebook? It better have some useful information or I'll tear it to shreds. Pikmin? Is that what these little shits are called?" He slowly flips through the notebook, oblivious to Sonic's screams for help.

"I'm back. At least they let him go," Tails rushes to Sonic's side, wiping his head.

"I hate them! I hate them! I. HATE. THEM!"

"We know, we know. Now take this leaf and dry yourself off before my ears bleed."

"Guys! Come and check this out! These 'plants' are called pikmin!" Knuckles shouts, motioning them to come by his side.

"FUCK the pikmin," Sonic replies. "They just got me soaking wet, and didn't give a damn!"

"Someone didn't take their Zoloft this morning..." Knuckles whispers.

"I HEARD THAT YOU BASTARD! TODAY IS NOT MY DAY! AND IF YOU MAKE IT WORSE, YOU'LL HAVE YOUR BALLS RIPPED OFF WHILE YOU'RE ASLEEP!" Sonic stomps away, cursing Knuckles with every step.

"…..."

"…..."

"Well, then, these 'pikmin' apparently can help us carry heavy things and kill monsters. Or it says so in this fucked up notebook."

"Well that 'fucked up notebook' is going to help us get out of here. Everything is obscenely huge and apparently messed up. And the pikmin are the only ones who can help us escape," Tails ponders. "By the way, I made a device that will rate the level of dangers in a specific area. The yellows where the ones who carried metal ship parts to me from out of nowhere, so I figured we can use the pikmin to carry objects we find, so that I can assemble a new machine to get us home….."

"Why did you trail off. WHY DID YOU TRAIL OFF? YOU'LL BE UP SHIT CREEK, TAILS, IF YOU DON'T TELL ME!" Knuckles bursts into hysterics, clearly delusional. "Hahahahah! We're gonna die! We're gonna live happily together and fucking die! Hahahaha! Hehehehe…." He then crawls into a corner, crying. "We're gonna die. Mommy, we're gonna die."

O_o "Don't question him Tails, just walk away," Tails assures himself while searching for objects on his newly-built radar.

"Tails, I've come to apologize for yelling at the pikmin and- Why is Knuckles crying?" Sonic slowly walks back, his hands behind his head. "You know what? Screw him. I just wanted to let you know there's a weird, gigantic gopher hole with a noxious fart gas coming out of it." He then ditches Knuckles, and leads tails and his annoying pikmin to a cavern surrounded with a mud wall, which smelled like shit.

"Well the radar says there are fire and electric hazards…. And the monster graph just went off the grid….=_=" He sighs, staring at the vine hanging off an oak tree, and thinking about the pros and cons of committing suicide.

"Touch that vine and I'll give you a slow, painful death that's worse than hanging yourself," Knuckles says, reading Tails' mind.

"Hey, buddy, you caught up. But I gotta warn you, Knux, next time you have a mental breakdown, I'm putting you on drugs to keep you high and 'mighty'," Sonic glares. "Now let's bring these so called 'pikmin' into this cave with us and kick some ass for useless metal that has a high chance of not bringing us home."

With that, the gang drops in, the pikmin happily following them, knowing and not caring that the majority of them will die immensely painful deaths.

A/N: Yay! That's chapter 2! Anyways, I apologize for my chapters being so short. I'm new at this, and I promise I will improve by the end of this story. I hope I haven't stepped out of a character's box too much. And thanks for the comments! I will wait till I have 3 comments to post the next chapter. R&R!

~Miyumi

P.S. ZOLOFT IS A DRUG THAT HELPS WITH ANGER MANAGEMENT!


	3. Brain Trauma WARNING: GROSS!

A/N: I DO NOT OWN ANYTHING EXCEPT FOR THIS STORY! (Side note: I am making fun of ALL the characters in the story. Yes, including Tails. REMEMBER, THE GENRE IS HUMOR! SO DON'T CUSS ME OUT FOR MAKING FUN OF YOUR FAV CHARACTER! PEACE!)

"Oomph!" Knuckles struggles to stand as he rubs his sorry ass, wondering why he agreed to go down in the first place. "I think I broke my-"

"WE DON'T CARE!" Sonic interrupts, observing his surroundings.

There were many small alleyways, and some rusted and broken half pipes. Suddenly, a red pikmin passes over Sonic's head, flying into oblivion.

"What the hell?"

"I'm just gonna throw these faggots everywhere, and hope for the best," Knuckles states, continuing to throw the pikmin at the walls. Suddenly, 5 pikmin come 'round the corner holding a piece of…. monster shit?

"Oh, good a screw! A little rusty, but it should work." Tails bends down to pick it up and places it in the floating storage container.

"Where did that come from? How do all these machines keep popping up? And I thought that was monster shit!" Sonic leans against the wall, scrunching his nose in confusion.

"Don't ask. Just search. From now on if a random machine appears, the explanation is the Easter Bunny." Tails replies.

"Look! Here come more little shits carrying some kind of gear. Maybe they are useful, after all." Just as Knuckles finishes, a bomb rock falls out of nowhere - considering there's no ceiling - and blows up all the red pikmin.

"Ooowwwwwnnnn….." The pikmin sigh as their ghosts float away.

"FUCK THEM! FUCK THEM ALL! THEY'RE ALL RETARDED, JUST LIKE SONIC!"

"What the? Why the hell are you bringing me into this? Let me remind you, again, that you're the one WHO PRESSED THE GODDAMN BUTTON!" Thus, Sonic and Knuckles argue for another pointless 30 minutes, wasting their breaths. Frustrated, Tails leaves them behind, plundering into the depths of the cave. Finally realizing that they were alone with only blue pikmin – all the reds were blown to pieces – they pause, stare at each other, then start yelling again.

-Final Floor-

Tails was pacing back and forth, begging god to make it so that some drastic explosion made Sonic and Knuckles fall all the way to the bottom floor, in broken pieces. Yeah, he wanted them to get there quickly, but he wanted them to also get punished. "When we get back, which we probably won't at this rate, I will make sure to make a radar that detects dumbasses."

He then hears some screaming, and whips his head around to find Sonic and Knuckles falling face-first into some 'badly misplaced' monster shit. "Took you long enough." Tails squints, tapping his left foot with his hands placed on his hips. "Oh yeah, according to my observations, the monster shit causes severe diarrhea for 3 weeks." Just then, Knuckles runs away, holding his ass. "Uuuuungh! I GOTTA GO! NOW!"

"Well I don't feel any- OHMIGOD!" Sonic follows Knuckles, also clutching his ass, running like there's no tomorrow.

"DON'T FOLLOW ME YOU IDIOT! GET YOUR OWN BATHROOM!" K

"THIS IS NOT YOUR PROPERTY! IT'S FREE LAND FOR EVERYONE!" S

"I DON'T CARE! HAVING YOU WATCH ME SHIT IS WORSE THAN BEING RAPED BY ROUGE!" K

"ROUGE RAPED YOU?" S

"Aw, crap." K

"HOLY SHIT SHE RAPED YOU? THAT'S JUST RETARDED!" S

"SHUT UP AND FREE YOUR DIARRHEA!" K

"YOU CAN'T TELL ME WHAT TO DO!" S

"DO IT OR ILL SHOVE MY HAND UP YOUR ASS AND DO IT FOR YOU!" K

"OKAY, OKAY! I'LL FREE MY INSIDES!" S

"Ok, let's see…. Damnit! Knuckles has the notebook! Tch! Well I'll just throw these pikmin at the metal parts I find on this floor. It seems that they are much lighter and can be thrown higher…." Tails independently flies off, surveying the area. There was the shadow of a large spider web hanging from the ceiling. "Don't look up, something will fall down. Don't look up, something will fall down. Don't look up, some-" A giant crab smashes down, creating a huge crater.

"What the? A crab? From a spider w-" Again, he's interrupted as the crab breathes flames, catching his tails on fire.

"UWAAAAAAAAH! MY TAILS!" Running around aimlessly, the kitsune finally remembers to stop, drop, and roll. Unfortunately there was gasoline on the floor *coughauthoresscough*, making his whole ass burst into flames.

"KYAAAAAAAAA! MY ASS! CRABS AREN'T EVEN SUPPOSED TO BREATHE FIRE! AUTHORESS, HEAR ME OUT! I THINK THERE'S A MISTAKE! WRONG MONSTER ON CHAPTER 3, AISLE 4!"

The clouds (clouds?) part, and the authoress' voice shined through.

"Ok let me straighten things out. One: you're the only smart one in this fucked up story. Two, I will keep your tails on fire cause it's funny. Three, I had the messed up logic there just to piss you off. Oh yeah, one last thing: Your monster radar went off the chart only cause of the boss. By now, you should have noticed there were no other monsters whatsoever. So no matter which cave you go in, it'll go off the charts. And if you're too dumb to understand that, I mean that it's fucking useless. Make a new one. And don't ask about your friends. It's your fault they have diarrhea. Enjoy!" The clouds (clouds?) close together, shrouding the room in darkness once more.

"I hate my life."

-WARNING! GROSS PART HERE! WARNING!-

Disgustingly, Knuckles and Sonic RUN back into the room together (again), diarrhea falling out of their asses. "Hey, buddy! We're back!" Sonic screams across the room. Tails' mouth drops to the floor in pure horror, and bile flows out, showing how sick he felt. The smell was so strong, all the pikmin die from brain trauma.

"oooooowwwwwwnnnn….." Thus, all the pikmin die immensely painful deaths, as I stated last chapter. "We have no pikmin left, but I can still kill that thing. Watch this, bitches!" Knuckles dashes in front of the crab, sticking his ass out. A gas so noxious that it was green came out, known as shart, a shit fart. The next scene was so 'epic' that it was cut out of the story. All I can tell you is that the crab's face melted off.

Finally running out of shit to fart, Knuckles triumphantly turns around to find Sonic vomiting, and that Tails had passed out, his whole body now on fire.

"Geez, what drama queens." Knuckles turns around, STILL leaving a trail of diarrhea behind. After that shart, his senses had peaked, and suddenly he could smell everything.

"OH MY FUCKIN-" He didn't even get to finish before he dry-heaved his diarrhea through his mouth, falling to the floor and twitching, having a sudden seizure.

-GROSS PART ENDED-

Now, darlings, my readers, since they all passed out vomiting, I will wrap up this chapter. They all died. Just kidding! Anyway, you won't be hearing from them for a while. Say, um, Idunno….. 3 weeks? :3

A/N: This is by far my favorite chapter. Although it was gross, I found it to be hilarious. And no, I am not that gross in real life. Trust me. Next chapter we will focus on-

"FROGGGYYYY!"

STFU! We'll be focusing on-

"FROGGY? WHERE ARE YOUUUUU?"

MOTHER *BLEEPBLEEPBLEEPBLEEEEEEEEP!*

*sigh*We will focus on two other fucktards we haven't seen since Chapter 1. Son of a crappo. He'll get punished next chapter, that bastard...

Won't upload the next chapter till I have 5 reviews. o w o

~Miyumi


	4. A Fat Problem: DAS

A/N: I DO NOT OWN ANYTHING EXCEPT FOR THIS STORY!

Big wakes up, only to feel something humping his leg. "Sonic, oh, Sonic. I knew you would finally realize!" Amy moans, talking in her sleep.

"Froggy? Froggy is that you? Why humping me? BAD FROGGY!" He then bitch slaps Amy, sending her flying face-first into a tree. She wakes up, her head throbbing.

"WHAT THE FUCK? I'M GONNA KILL YOU WHOEVER YOU ARE!" Amy brings her piko hammer out of thin air, charging at Big. Suddenly, she stops, dropping her hammer, after seeing a cute white animal. "OOOOHHHHMYYYYYYGOOOOOOSSSSSSH! YOU ARE JUST SO ADOORRRAAABLEEEE!" Bending down, she picks up a white pikmin, her eyes sparkling. Meanwhile, Big was wondering how he got a bruise on his leg. Suddenly, the devil *coughauthoress'sistercough* comes out of the ground, holding a Froggy doll with dynamite sticking out of his ass. She smirks while handing it over to Big, getting ready to leave until the most retarded thing happened. "Oh Froggy! Big has found you. Why you have red poopoo. We need to take you to vet."

"Hey, dumbass," The devil calls. "that's dynamite you idiot. It's revenge of the mighty authoress from last chapter. Also, if you don't save tails *fangirl-squeal* I'll stalk you and kill you in your sleep." While she was explaining to him about his DAS, otherwise known as dumbass syndrome, Amy was squeezing the life out of the white pikmin. Literally.

"ooooooown," It groans before its ghost floated away. She then notices all the other white pikmin were cowering behind a tree, not wanting to have the same fate as their brother. "When bomb blow up?" Big continues to ask the she-devil.

"It should blow up right about-" BOOM! Unfortunately, the explosion caused the earth to crumble beneath Amy, Big, and the pikmin (The devil vanished back to the underworld), sending them into a vast area of darkness.

"Jesus…. Am I alive?" Amy mumbles while she struggles to stand. "I keep fainting, and I'm stuck with a fat bastard." The plants she had seen earlier were huddled in a group, shaking. "Awwwwww, don't worry, Amy won't hurt you." She takes one step before they run away. "Shit."

On the other hand, Big was lying down a few feet away, completely unconscious.

Slamming his face with her piko hammer, Amy starts walking away triumphantly, holding the mighty hammer over her shoulder. Big finally wakes up, oblivious to his bleeding head. "I go find Froooogggggyyyy…." Uh oh, he has brain trauma from the impact. Didn't know his DAS could get any worse.

-WARNING: CONTINUING GROSS PART FROM LAST CHAPTER!-

"Alright, cuties, follow me," Amy marches on, leading the now calm pikmin deeper into the cave. When she reaches the final floor, she sniffs the air, and exclaims, "I KNOW THAT SMELL ANYWHERE! IT'S SONIC'S SHART! Good thing I stalked him in the bathroom after he had those chili dogs last week." She walks over to him, only to find a vomit covered hedgehog with brown shit coming out of his ass. "How long has he been doing that? She looks at his wrist, conveniently finding a watch that timed his bathroom break. "Hmmmmmm….. 6 hours? Not bad, not bad. Could have done better. Ooh! I know! I'll grab it while I have the chance!" She bends down and scoops it into her hanky, twisting it up. A white pikmin comes up to her holding a sharpie, and she takes it with a nod as thanks, while writing "Sonic's shart: 8/10/11" Big finally catches up, holding what looked like fat Ugly Dolls in his hands.

"Big find purple plants! Big like purple!" The purple pikmin then slipped, their leaves snapping off. They died before they even hit the ground.

"oooooown…." How many times is that? 4? I lost count after writing it twice. Now the only pikmin left were 9 whites (one was squeezed to death), and 7 purples (3 had their leaves snap off from being too fat).

-Gross Part ended! For now!-

Finally getting what she came after, Amy finally notices a wiped out Knuckles with 'chocolate' around his mouth, and a burned Tails, still on fire. "Big fix Tails! Big promised." He then walks over, and grabs 3 more purple pikmin, whacking Tails repeatedly until the flames died out. There were now 4 purples left. He then picks up Tails in one arm, Knuckles in the other, and starts walking towards the geyser. "Wow, he might actually be smart," Amy thinks while dragging Sonic and following Big. She then regrets her statement as he suddenly walks through the wall, destroying all the rocks in the way.

"THE GEYSER, YOU IDIOT, THE GEYSER!" Amy screeched at the top of her lungs.

"Huh? Geyser? All Big see is water. Big hate water, but like fishing."

"FUUUUUUUUU-" Amy was about to finish, until she was shoved into the geyser by the white pikmin.

"Wait for me!" Finally understanding the situation, Big jumped into the geyser, and was shot up through the surface.

A/N: If you haven't realized already, Big is retarded. And Amy is just plain annoying. At least those are my opinions of them. =_= Oh, yes. The devil is xxtailsfanxx incase you were wondering. Still waiting for names for the parts! And review, review, review! It motivates me when you guys criticize my work or point out mistakes! Much appreciated! (Gonna wait for 10 reviews!)

~Miyumi


End file.
